What Hugh Grant is doing now: very little.

01 Mar

SO Hugh Grant and his face have collapsed, that’s my guess. He gets through one of the biggest sex scandals of the nineties and smells like a rose, then Bridget Jones opened up a whole row of bastard roles he could start plundering, then… Music and Lyrics with Drew Barrymore in 2007 and then Did You Hear About The Morgans? with SJP in 2009 then… basically nothing. This makes sense really. When a previously big-name actor is doomed to play romantic fiddle to what remains of SJP’s face or Drew Barrymore’s mild retardation the slope is slippery. The Kiss of Death has been administered.

So what happened, Hugh? Did you realise you just didn’t need to work any more? Did you go into a surgeon’s office with a picture of Rob Lowe in St Elmo’s Fire and come out looking like Andrew McCarthy? Are you ‘doing the Theatre circuit’ with Sienna Miller?

The thing is, it’s not like it matters as such. Romantic Comedies are the idiot cousin of regular cinema, and being king among chimps still just means you fling the most poo. The genre can sink to the bottom of the sea as far as I’m concerned but you know, You were in An Awfully Big Adventure, and you were good! Actually good! You were a villain, but a snivelling foppish one, a combination of your only two characters miraculously creating a third. But that was a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re not coming back because all you’re getting are increasingly saggy love scenes with obnoxious women then by all means stay away.

I have to say, really, I’m grateful. Few celebrities have the decency to disappear from view quietly and not come back. Be that Brave One, Hugh, The World doesn’t need you now!


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